The Rule of Six:

While assisting with a training session at work this weekend, I was asked to re-type a handout on something called The Rule of Six. I found it to be a great reminder of how to work towards being non-judgemental to people whose personal life situations you aren't privy to. How to treat people with kindness regardless.

The concept is this:

Notice the man stumbling down Franklin Ave, yelling at anyone who happens to pass him, drunk out of his gourd. He's dirty and most likely slept outside last night. A situation I have been in many times actually.

Before we assume we know what his situation is, we need to consider at LEAST six reasons he might be where he is right at that moment.

In this scenerio, my six:

1. He just broke up with a partner and went on a bender, passed out outdoors. Angry at the world and wants to tell everyone who will listen.
2. He has struggled throughout his life with alcoholism and continues to.
3. His friends stranded him at the bar, he had to walk home and is angry and wants to tell the world. He's fallen once or twice on that walk and got dirty.
4. He doesn't drink often and went a little overboard. He is now trying to get home, drunk out of his gourd. He has Tourettes
5. Mentally Ill and homeless, shared a bottle with some street friends. Talks aloud because of his disease.
6. College kid who binge drinks. He and his girlfriend fought at a party that night. He is walking back home angry.

Obviously, this is only the surface reasons. The person could have a history of being beaten as a child, molested, neglect. His parents could have allowed him to ingest alcohol from a young age and it's led to this. He could have had a Traumatic Brain Injury and now can't work. Etc...

I want to remember this as I am passing the travelling kids I vented about in a previous post. They could be coming from homes they can't return to. They could have fled abuse and neglect. Assuming a one size fits all judgement isn't fair. This is why I choose to challenge myself. I chose to work with the Men's Shelter to learn, to challenge myself - I don't understand men well, I don't have a good exposure to men and want to learn to not be intimidated by them, not to judge and treat them as harshly as I tend to do. To understand that they can have emotional sides and to treat them accordingly.

The other night, I shared with C my surprise at observing the men at the shelter interact. I had envisioned fights, macho posturing and roughness. Once the guys get in, most of them become softer and they know how to compromise and share the space no matter how uncomfortable it can get sometimes. I've had many of them really open up to me and share their emotions about being homeless, about their past and where they are going. All I can do is listen and encourage them to stay on track. I know the temptations of the street can be tough to avoid and trouble lurks around many corners for these guys. Many of them are recovering from prison stay or felonies from less than 7 years ago, to get in trouble again would be a big blow. Some of them haven't gotten their GEDs yet and that saddens me - it limits their ability to go to college or apply to most jobs. I think it bothers me most because I can't just do it for them like I could a resume, they have to be the ones that study, that follow through on test day and hopefully pass the test.

Anyway, The Rule of Six. Remember that.