Although my official full time gig at the shelter is done (I will now just be doing 2 overnights a month currently), I wanted to share a few more things.
The next time one of us or someone around you stereotypes homeless men, in particular, think about this:
- We have a man in shelter who was born without eyes, he makes his way around with his cane and intution. In addition, multiple guys at the shelter have stepped up to the plate and helped him get around downstairs as well as getting from one place to another once they need to leave for the day - guys with cars are using their gas to take J places. Another guy told me of a day that he walked him to the train station and walked him onto to the train to sit and ended up going for a ride after the doors closed and he was stuck. I see their discomfort on the mornings it is still dark out and very frosty, they are reluctant to send him on his way alone.
Clearly J can navigate alone and has gotten along up until now (I think he is in his late 20's) but these particular men feel empathy for him and want to be sure he is safe and taken care of.
- Another point - one of the guys recently landed a job in HVAC, the field he had received a degree in not so long ago. He was waiting for his first check but didn't have money to get gas to get out to the suburb to pick up his check. He was also worried about the rapidly leaking oil it was suddenly showing. He was trying to find help with a gas card and/or car repair. I gave him 5 dollars. For gas. What he actually did with it, I can't be sure. I do know that we, as helpers, aren't supposed to loan money, give gifts, etc.. but as a human, I wanted to help him have a chance to get his check and hopefully have the gas to keep getting to that job at the least. I know that I crossed a boundary and probably wouldn't do it again but what's done is done. This is someone that has been helping others in the shelter as well (see above) as he is one of few to actually own a car still.
As promised, he showed up with my money once he was able to retreive his paycheck. I didn't know whether he would but I had faith that he would come through. I also knew that I couldn't blame or feel angry if he didn't as I had set myself up for that.
My new job, at a rather large Domestic Violence service provider doesn't allow me direct service and is only a 6 month funded position. But I can't complain. I will be able to keep getting ahead, can actually give my daughter a decent Christmas for the 1st time in too long (she is getting a used drum set for one thing) and plan to get straight back to school in January. I wasn't able to carry out Americorps but I'm trying not to beat myself up about it, I'm trying to consider that my time will come to get and stay at the job that fits me and that I fit (in all ways). After spending most of my adult life slumming it, I realized that I just couldn't continue to do it. My rent is too much, I can't afford to carry everyone on my paycheck when that paycheck is minimum wage (or less). I'm sad to leave the men's shelter, I really started liking being there. One man, new to be homeless, was my particular worry. He is the type of person that would be considered a bad fit at the downtown shelters - new to the street, not a fighter, kind of quiet. He would sit in the park (probably still does) after the shelter he stays at let them out at 7am and until our Job Room opened at 8:30am. From there, he would work hard all day, staying sometimes until close at 4:30 creating cover letters, sending out his resume, following up, etc.. He has attended all of our Job Club support groups and attends a homeless mental health support group. He is trying sooo hard to get back on his feet and I fear that the longer he is out and in shelter, the less motivation he will be able to muster. He let me know before I left that his shelter extended his stay there, thank goodness. I was worried that he was about to lose his bed as I had noticed that he was approaching 28 days, which then means that he would need to do the "lottery" and hope for a bed at the shelter of his choice. When I saw the form noting that he had begun coming into the Job Room on 9/15 and it was actually 10/8 or something, I realized just how hard he has been working towards finding a job. Most, okay, all of the other guys do a few applications then meander onto some other website then send out a resume then leave or end up chatting. Not this guy, I never once saw him surfing. I just hope he makes it out of the system soon...
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